We watched Drag me to hell earlier (and it was so-so, ridiculous at times but still suspenseful), and it got me thinking of the afterlife. If I die, would I go to heaven or hell? It’s a very hard question for me, since I know I am not really lying on either ends of the "morality/goodness" spectrum. Yes, I have done good things, but f course I also done bad things. And if I were to judge myself, I don’t consider myself worthy of heaven. Yeah, my parents (and also some friends) think I'm good son/person/friend but I know myself more, and my sins I mean. Plus, I don’t think these good deeds I have done guarantee a slot in heaven. Not only because of the I-don’t-go-to-church-read-the-bible thing, but because of my selfishness, materialism, backstabbing and.. well you get the point.
The thing that really bothers me the most is the eternal suffering thing. I can’t imagine myself being tormented by demons for all eternity. If only there was also death after death, where you just cease to exist, then that would be better. But an eternity of torment is just unimaginable. That is just way too cruel.
I sometimes ask people actually on where they think they would go when they die. I ask them because I think most people, or the majority of the human population is not concerned of the afterlife. I believe that is because death seems so far away most of the time and our lives seem to have a surplus of time. Perhaps because of this apparent time surplus, the anticipation and concern of death and what follows it most likely die down sooner or later. At least that is very true for me. And perhaps later as I sleep, this fear of the afterlife would also die down.
I once attended a talk about being idle and the importance of injecting quality stuff to your time. Basta it included a story of three devils. The first one came to hell and carried with him a lot of souls. Impressed, the other demons asked how he did it. He said that he whispered to the ears of his victims that God does not exist. The second one came and even had more souls with him. When asked of how he did it, He said that he whispered to the victims that the devil does not exist. The third one came and had with him a really large number of souls, more than the first two. When asked of his secret, he said that telling them God does not exist is not as efficient as his technique. Because miracles and divine intervention occur, people would have the tendency to believe in God, and for the devil not existing, people would just watch Emily Rose and start believing! He said that his secret was that he whispered to his victim’s ears that they had a lot of time in their hands.
I reflected upon it, and realized that that was a major factor of why I do bad things. Death feels far away, and that fear of hell just doesn't stick long enough for me to fully convert.
What is God’s criterion for entry to heaven? Of course Hitler, murderers, rapists, and most politicians would certainly have no place in heaven, but how about the neutral ones like me, who are not really saint-like nor are murderers? Furthermore how about the crazy ones, especially those who are psychopathological murderers? It’s certainly not their fault that they are like that and perhaps some do not even know what they are doing!
I know I’m scared now, and I’m motivated to move to the good end of the humanity/morality spectrum, but I know this fear would die down later. And what if I keep being sinful and there comes a time that it is too late to change? If only neutrals have sure slots in heaven. Sigh.
Comments (2)
tinanong din ako dati kung kapag namatay ba ako, san ako pupunta. mabilis sa alas quatro, heaven ang sinagot ko. baket? alam ko naman na makasalanan din akong tao. pero kasi, nagho-hold on ako sa promise ni God na kapag naniwala ako sa Kanya, enough na yun para ma-save ako. pero siyempre kelangan mo din ng effort. like doing good things and trying your very best to avoid doing evil things.
=)
oh hey you've updated! super busy with school you don't blog as often anymore
you still using your old cell number?
-trizha